ypsilanti's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- class of 2094 i've been so sick all day that i can't think or really put together sentences. lying in bed, somehow my mind refused to shut off, although my body was unable to move. a thousand first sentences to speeches and novels came together over the bed and then slowly unfolded back into where they came from. "Regardless of how long i wait, there is never any drop in the force of the things that move me." i dreamed of high school tests i failed seven years ago, skateboarding in ypsilanti, and some sort of force that would at once empty my clogged head and fill my empty hand. it seems like nightmares are really a joke on the human race. i know that something's really really wrong in my wide awake world when i have dreams that revolve around time i spent in high school, or time i spent at my first job at the grocery store. neither could have been more ridiculous or inhuman experiences, and when i dream that for some reason i have to be put back into those experiences in my present life, it fills me with a noctournal terror that is so much more horrible than any monster or wicked apparition. i can't count the number of dreams i've had where i woke up freaked out and nearly sick with anxiety that i might not graduate. almost six years done with school, and i still have lingering echos of the seasick importance of passing my government exam. it's really cool to come slowly to my senses and feel that terror melt away. 11:57pm - 12.5.00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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