ypsilanti's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dancing inside there will always be room for the sounds that failing cities make all night. telephone calls spin themselves in circles around their waiting wires, and long for reaching out, understanding.. lovers fall asleep listening to the velvet underground, some thirty odd years after their parents fell asleep. same sky, same songs, (misread as "The Velvet Understand") same streets with only new buildings to act as some sort of progress. standing in the way of trepidation and a general, ceaseless feeling of fucking up, there are noises and silences, bursts of truth in any grand, unnoticed moments. kids slap hands, for the first time trading off drugs for money, thinking they're the first and most sly people in the world, the inventors of this sort of trick.. i remember when i was seven i figured out how to touch my body in ways that made it feel intensely good right away. i thought i was the inventor of this practice!! how could anyone else know about something so cool.. i was going to write a book. sometime in the next year i read a book that my parents had on one of the basement shelves which explained masturbation and other various sexual ideas and concepts... i was bummed for sure. somewhere the ghosts of all failed moments, tried expressions and tired loves are dancing together. i remember explaining to you my sometimes fear of dancing, and you, like you weren't even listening and it didn't even matter if you were, only said "you're always dancing on the inside".. and walked off to whatever was distracting your attention. super beautiful. all times are worthwhile, even if distracted, disheartened or falling apart. i can collect all my bad timing and failed moments, make them flowers and hope you're home to receive them. springtime is frozen under the grass and all the dirty snow. sometimes i can smell the mud from under the ice, and everything is most certainly going to be just fine. catch. ******* listen to : nick drake, town and country, silver jews, bonnie prince billy 100times, stars falling, aloha, plush, modern lovers. again - 2.21.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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