ypsilanti's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- softly did you ever start to feel like you were just totally in a film, or maybe more like watching a film of the events of your life? no connection, no understanding, no real experiences, only possibilities and consequences. bee stings. beastings. belated and forgotten. it was cool to go check out arab strap, who i have never been a super big fan of, but were cool to see play. it was the first time in my life when i drank at a show, feeling probably much like most of the people i know always need to feel at a show in order to feel comfortable. i been thinking a lot about comfort, and about how often or not i'm comfortable. how often anyone i know is, or what it means, or where it comes from. i think about it so much i could feel my stomach shake and feel chances and gold fall away from me like i was spinning in the sky as fast and as high as possible. i put up my hood and cover my eyes with my hands, and wether or not everyone i know hates me, it's all dark, it all looks about as likely as anything else. brett just told me about this record called "It's so hard to tell who's gonna love you the best". that's rough. it's april 16th, and it snowed today. sooner than later, my life is spinning just as high and fast, and sooner than anyone thought, i am falling away from anyone i used to be. fuck. 6:08 p.m. - 4.16.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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