ypsilanti's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- in the dimestores and bus stations people talk of situations read books recite quotations draw conclusions on her wall you know there's no sucsess like failure, right? remember when i was telling you about my favorite movie "OVER THE EDGE"? the one about the kids who live in the weird planned community, suburban condo town? how they go crazy and destroy? i think that now my favorite movies are that and "DON'T LOOK BACK", in a tie, you know? but i watched OVER THE EDGE again the other night, and i noticed all this new amazing stuff.. like the part where he says "Do you want to go on a date sometime?" and she's like "I don't go out on dates." and kind of smirks/laughs, like 'as if'.. and he says "What DO you do?" "I only see my friends" "I'm just saying I like you is all" "I like you too... you've got.. pretty eyelashes"... but they're talking in front of their friends, so everyone else in the room is rolling their eyes and going like "oh my god... listen to these idiots.." SHEER FUCKING AMAZING GENIUS. i don't go out on dates. i only hang out with my friends. yesterday night i slept in my room, the first time in about two and a half months that i've had a room to call mine. i slept on a bed with no sheets and the doors open to let the night in. i want to make friends with the night and maybe we can even hold hands one day. the last room that was mine, i remember the first night sleeping there, on blankets on the floor, dreams falling in a straight line, arms wrapped around you with everything i had. in a time so mixed up and alone, nothing could have made me happier than starting there with you. now, in an empty house, candle burning and listening to "Love Minus Zero/No Limit", so alone, so full, starting somehow continuing. i slept so long and so late and dreamed about freaking out and yelling at my mom and dad. international travel by boat. not graduating high school. classes and reminders. i was two hours late for work, and no one yelled at me. all day at work, and alex goldman was my co-worker. he constantly danced, pranced, grabbed me and jumbled. i love him more and more with each grusome passing moment. directly after work, the flashpaprs played an outdoor show in a garage full of scooters and beautiful wonderful friends. i feel a special love for everyone that was there, and i really think it was a personal, beautiful night. i'm trying so hard to get all this awful awful year out of my system. the year made of glass, guns, broken things. leave the place. for the first time in my life i feel kind of like i'm trying to make it to my next birthday. but that seems a little melodramatic. let us hope it's a good year for all of us. this diary is one year old tommorow. how sweet! hey night, be my friend. hey darling, be my friend, i miss you. i need some help. i need some help. i need all the help i can get. let me in. hold my hand. hold me up to the light and don't forget to start. ******* listen to: viki, bob dylan, velvet underground, edith frost, his name is alive, vida blue, joni mitchell, ted leo. 2:21 a.m. - 8.3.01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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