ypsilanti's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- electrical i had this dream, kids jumping off of roofs in order to get high. then running as fast as was possible. i woke up in a world i thought i'd never get to see. there were two sorts of sculptures in the front yard which looked like weather towers, sometimes torches or flames sat at the tops. what runs together in the course of a three-day goodbye, and the re-meeting and unstable series of final thises or qualified last ever thats. so basically, everything is happening. right now i'm in cleveland, and it has been snowing all day, but there was just a crash of thunder which shortly followed a flash of lightening. i can't remember ever witnessing this sort of thing in my life before. there's too much flowing through me. i have become a collector of current, a conductor for (but not neccesarilly of) my own life and the events that shape this unwritable book. if by touching hands with a person i could somehow make them a conductor also, allow them to electrically (or in some cases electronically) understand every part of what we mean to each other and what our channel means to the potential of the world, there would be a storm that would cause everyone i know to cry in unison for the sheer joy and possibility of our beautiful lives. we would again be our own rain, our own lightening, our own summer and our own moon. i realized at some point that everything is explicitly connected. this was something you and i came across when we were discussing our love of design, and how through working for a while on design, we could return to music refreshed and re-invented, applying what we learned at kinkos but translating it into the four track or the drum kit. like a language that is yours alone, but branches over onto all parts of your life. a flyer for the show is in fact the music that will be played, vice versa. the lyrics for a song are the same as a thoughtfully conceived polaroid, odd infin idem. this is all true. however, i wonder if in my belief of this, i use the same images (lyrical or photocopied) over and over again, only in slightly different contexts so that it makes sense in an updated way. i thought about this because i decided to make the last stop on my journey louisville, where i intend to take some time and write my first book "WITH ALL THE SILENT GRACE OF WATER". sound familiar?? later on tonight we're going to record a song that i should write before you come home from work. i'm excited and afraid and i miss everyone so much and i feel a sense of looking forward and backward in unison, like the trick i learned this weekend to cross one of my eyes and leave the other one looking straight ahead. you end up not being able to really see anything and feel like you're being spun around in circles. so many parts of my life are repeating, but maybe this time they feel the way they always should have felt, and now with the benefit of all the mistakes i made that are uneraseable. a second chance at a first look. stay excited and unable to deny love and beauty. ******* listen to: luv'd ones, love, naysayer, k, au tempo, ectomorph, weakerthans, massive attack, gorilla bisquits, the future, the past, right now, forever. 19:30:06 - 2000-11-21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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